Reinstated post #1 Taking Off

Right.. managed to find ONE of the five bits I deleted - THANKS PANTHER, you're a star - so here it is..

Taking Off

I had to have a giggle today during my normal reading of the BBC News Website -

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7686911.stm

For those who can't be bothered to read it, it seems the smelly component of what my great aunt would probably politely term 'wind' (hydrogen sulphide) may also play a part in keeping one's blood pressure down. Lots of learned stuff about experiments etc, but it did just occur to me in humans perhaps the effect may be accentuated by the giggles which inevitably follow an episode of 'the angels speaking'?? Just a ffort!

Farting, to employ the term normal people use, is a bit of a hot topic at Chateau Angevin, mostly because my side of the family is what you might say a bit prone to it. The fact they all find bottom burps absolutely hysterical, usually to the immense irritation of those who have the bad luck to marry into the family, may also have something to do with it: but they are all pretty much unapologetic about the issue - if you don't like it, go to another room is by and large the attitude. I suffered for years at the hands of my father, who was a legendary exponent of the technique of dropping a silent-but-really-smelly example behind me in public places, and then scampering off to howl with laughter as he observed the dirty looks people were giving ME. At parties, Le Petomaine had nothing on my dear old Dad.

As the old boy unfortunately quit this world to go and stink out somewhere else more than 10 years ago now, my more recent shopping trips have been relatively embarrassment free, that is, until Mini grew old enough to accompany me. Oh yes... Mini seems to be carrying on the familial tradition, I suspect aided and abetted by some of my more unsavoury cousins. Having a quiet cup of tea in the genteel surroundings of Highworth's more upmarket teashop recently, Mini's nether regions let out a truly earth-shaking roar which, in my embarrassment seemed to go on for several minutes, but was probably only a few seconds. Silence descended, and the eyes of a dozen or so old ladies swept round to our table, to see me cowering in abject humiliation and feeling about four again and a Very Naughty Girl. Was Mini bothered?? Judging the way in which he bounced up and down on his seat I would suggest not - but any doubts were dispelled by his screech of 'Mummy, Mummy, my bottom said hello!'.

Flashback about 25 years to Boots, and my Dad doubled up with laughter at the other end of the aisle as I copped the disgusted stares of about six people who had been almost choked by the miasma which he'd deposited and run away from. The fits of giggles and the expression of joy - which would put the nauseating sprog on the Werther's ad to shame - were identical. Mini is a virtual clone of my big brother, but just then he looked like a small, unwrinkled and mop-headed version of my Dad. Welcome to the next 25 years of embarrassment...

Oh, and in case you are wondering if I'm party to this particular family trait I would point out I'm female and us girls don't do things like that, now, do we?